same 3 T-shirts each week, puts on different colored socks and forgets to put on deodorant most days. Put that $25 towards something else, especially if the venue charged you at the door to get in.
By Ty Webb, baseball dad, Zen Buddhist and heir to Bushwood Country Club
Youth baseball. Another year of “drive-all-over-creation-bleary-eyed, walk-a-mile-from-your-car-and-buy-one-water-for-the-price-of-a-case-at-Target.” I feel your pain. Here are some tips for making it through the weekend a little easier this year.
Arrive on time without being nuts about it.
If you need to stop for coffee on the way, stop for coffee. If you’re reading this, you’ve already sacrificed plenty of time, money and sleep for your kid to play baseball.
Your coach isn’t giving away prizes for being the first kid at pre game when 90% of the kids arrive after you anyway. Even if he was handing out prizes, your kid might end up talking about Fortnite anyway and push himself to the back of the BP line for not paying attention even if he was first to arrive, so don’t go crazy.
I’m not suggesting being a diva and showing up late – just arrive on time appropriately and don’t make it a stress point for you. There’s so many other things to annoy you during the weekend. More on that later.
Find something to do before and in between games.
Go for a ride. Grab a bite to eat. Read a book. Heckle the umpire at a game where you don’t know anyone playing. Write a sarcastic article. Do something with all the time in between the games. Parents watch warm ups these days as if they think a giant hawk is going to swoop down and snatch up their kid with his talons. Relax and get some YOU time. You deserve it. Take advantage of that down time.
Repeat after me: “I’m not just a minivan driver with a bank account. I’m a human.”
Stop stressing about Game Changer.
Remember that these stats, just like your son’s 5th grade math average, will be meaningless down the road.
I saw all I needed to see when a dad scored a hit to his kid when the pitcher threw the ball 20 feet over the 1st baseman’s head. Even if the first basemen had a trampoline and stilts, he couldn’t have caught the ball.
(Editor’s note: Angela here—Wouldn’t it be cool to actually see a first baseman on a trampoline with stilts? Just like I’d, for once, like to see players have to navigate around randomly planted trees and bushes on the ball field, just to liven things up a big. Now back to the article.)
Perhaps your coach dictates his playing time based on basic stats. He shouldn’t. Frankly, if you start to have discussions with your coach using Game Changer in the conversation, you might want to look elsewhere.
No one wants to see your red neck or a popped collar like you just came from the Yacht Rock tour with Michael McDonald. Seriously. Bring some ‘screen.
Travel with a cooler.
Even though some places don’t allow them – which is flat-out ridiculous – you can save so much money by having extra drinks and food for in between games and after to hydrate and feed your kid. Leave the $13 churro for someone else.
I’m not sure those are actually chicken fingers and that girl serving them just sneezed on her hand anyway.
Pack some extra clothes.
Depending on the location, it could be sweltering, freezing tundra-like, gale-force windy, raining like hell (all in the same day). Be prepared with an extra shirt, jock, socks, sombrero, blankets, ghillie suit, string bikini, hoodie or rain jacket for you and your kid.
Stop buying a T-shirt for EVERY tournament.
I get it. Your kid is playing in the SUPER MEGA TRI COUNTY ELITE BETTER THAN REC tourney. Your kid also wears the
Be an adult.
This is harder than it sounds, but it shouldn’t be. Be a good sport. Cheer all the kids on.
Stop bragging. I get it, you think your kid is the best out there, but he probably isn’t. Yeah, I said it.
“But my Johnny went 2/3 with..”
And while we’re on topic, we need to find a new kid for our baseball stories other than Johnny. I heard that Johnny just filed for federal trademark protection because he’s been used so many times in baseball stories without compensation. Good for you, Johnny.
Please watch your comments during games. Nothing burns me up more than the one dad who yells “it’s not you” when his kid is on the mound and a teammate makes an error. That’s unacceptable. I’m sure there are plenty of times when that boy on the mound didn’t come through in a game and no one took him to task. Keep that in mind.
As sad as it is, if you can’t speak nicely about someone, please wait until they leave the field to do it.
Just ask Johnny. He hears everything you say, and I now owe him $25 for saying his name. If only I didn’t buy that T-shirt…