Unless you get your thrills from preschool level puns, or have the intellect of Spongebob’s friend Patrick, you’re probably going to think that reading these is a complete waste of time. But, having set out to write a post on baseball jokes, I refused to be swayed by the fact that every single one I found was terrible.
So, here goes nothin.’ You don’t have to thank me.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team!
Q: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
A: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.
Q: What are the rules in zebra baseball?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.
Q: Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.
Q: Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?
A: Someone stole second base.
Q: Why are frogs good baseball players?
A: Because they’re great at catching flies.
Q: A man leaves home, takes three left turns, and is on his way back home when he sees two men in masks waiting for him. Who are they?
A. The catcher and the umpire.
Q: Did you hear the one about the fast pitch? Never mind. You just missed it.
Q: Where does the baseball player go when he needs a new uniform?
A: New Jersey.
Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play on bug baseball teams?
A: Because it takes too long to put their cleats on.
Q: What runs around a baseball field but never moves?
A: A fence.
Q: What’s the difference between a pick pocket and an umpire?
A: One steals watches and one watches steals.
Something to ponder: “Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”
If you’re still reading…..well, I can’t imagine why you’d still be reading.