I think I’ve been pretty darn good this year. If you need a breakdown of how my time has been spent over the past 12 months…ya know, for evaluation purposes, see below.
I’ve spent the 8,760 hours since last Christmas in the following manner.
3,695 hours at baseball tournaments—sitting/pacing/cheering/worrying/searching for the right field/standing in line at the concession stand/searching for a parking space/trying not to touch anything in the port-a-potty/rewetting FrogToggs/questioning the umpire’s vision/waiting for our next game to start/trying to decipher bracket postings.
1,429 hours in the car—driving to and from tournaments/practices/lessons/workouts/fast food establishments (because there’s no time to cook).
927 hours sitting at practices and lessons—trying to make sure I’m watching at all the right times/listening to the coach’s directions (because I know my husband will ask me later, if he wasn’t there).
763 hours scrubbing baseball pants—WHITE pants, mind you! Whose idea was it for baseball pants to be white? They’d better be getting coal for Christmas!!!
596 hours making arrangements for travel ball tournaments—hotel reservations/packing/lining up pet sitting/taking out personal loans/refinancing the house/cancelling non-baseball related vacation plans/explaining to relatives that we’re not in a cult.
204 hours doing team fundraisers—attempting to sell Boston Butts to neighbors we’ve never met/washing strangers’ cars/begging local businesses for raffle prizes.
83 hours searching for my son’s uniform cap that he lost somewhere between home and the Myrtle Beach Ripken Experience—before finally giving up and ordering another one.
So, as you can see, I haven’t exactly had time to be naughty. And although it may sound insane to some parents, I’ve loved almost every minute of this crazy life. (I get extra points for a good attitude, right?)
So, if it’s not too much to ask…here are a few things that this travel ball mom would LOVE to find under the Christmas tree this year…or at least near it (due to size).
1.For traveling in baseball style.
2. Someone to clean my house because I’m never home to do it. Yeah, she’ll need those gloves…and probably a tetanus shot.
3. When my kid is getting shelled on the mound, a few gulps from this bra will make it all better.
6. For those ridiculously c-c-c-cold games. Yeah, I don’t care how it looks as long as it keeps me warm.
7. The perfect winter tournament or lounging around the house boots.
10. Y’all go ahead and laugh at this solar-powered fan cap. You’ll be begging to borrow it when we’re stuck at the ballpark on a 300 degree day.
11. For you non-medical types, this is a urinary catheter. Can you think of anything more practical for a travel ball mom? When the tournament facility bathrooms that are too far away or too much of a health risk. Or when your kid is getting shelled on the mound. Drink all your bra will hold without having to take a potty break.
12. Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones. For those times when I don’t need to hear all the peanut gallery commentary.
13. A cooler with speakers. Refreshing and entertaining for getting our pregame groove on.
Well, that’s pretty much it for now, Santa. Please note that I may be adding more items over the next 19 days. I did mention being really good this year, right?