“Outta Here!” 16 MORE Comments that Got Coaches Ejected by Umpires

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A couple of years ago, after seeing several coaches get tossed from rec and travel ball games, because of something they said (isn’t it always?), I asked a few umpire friends to share their most memorable and creative rebukes from coaches and fans. The responses were overwhelming and led to one of our most popular posts ever!

Check out our first article. “You’re Outta Here!” 16 Clever Comments That Got Coaches Tossed by the Umpire

I’m still getting entertaining messages about coach/fan vs umpire encounters. So here’s Volume 2. Enjoy!

1. “We better get a hammer and some nails because that plate’s moving around!”

2. “I am not out here to argue, Blue, but wanted to let you know my brother in law is an optometrist and I can get you an appointment if you need one.”

3. “It’s a darn good thing there aren’t three options!”

4. “Hey Blue, where’d that ball miss? Down?….THE MIDDLE?”

5. “I know you want be the best ump possible. Use this, (flipping the quarter onto home plate). You’ll get more calls right.”

6. Umpire: “One more word, coach and you’re outta here!”
Coach: “Oh come on, Blue. Don’t make your first good call all game be ejecting me.”

7. “Gosh Dang It, Blue! It’s Home Plate!… Not no salad plate!”

8. Had a coach making little comments all game. All of a sudden he yells. “You two need a snickers bar” to me and other umpire when a call didn’t go his way. turned and looked at him trying not to laugh and said. “Marsha Marsha Marsha, You’re GONE.” Funniest ejection I ever had.

9. ”Hey Blue, you are the second best umpire that works in this League.” Almost invariably, my response is….. “Well who is the 1st best?” He replies, “Everybody else is tied for 1st!” We had a good chuckle.

10. “You need to flip the plate over and read the directions!”

11. “If I had known we were golfing today, I’d have had the boys bring their clubs.”

12. “Hey Blue! You need some water? It’s really hot out here and I think you’re starting to hallucinate!”

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13. “Blue, I need to start drinking so I can see what you’re seeing.”

14. “Good Lord! It’s a strike zone. Not a loading zone!

15. “Which one of you two is the designated driver?”

16. “Dang It, Blue! You’d get a pitch-out wrong!”

According to a local veteran umpire, (we’ll call him Wayne. 🙂 the moms are often more aggressive than the coaches.

“I’ll never forget the day I called strike three on a batter and his mama got so mad, she stood up, picked up her lawn chair and hurled it over the fence at me! Almost hit me too! I told her she needed to leave the park immediately. She said ‘I ain’t goin’ nowhere!’ To which I replied, ‘either you leave or your team forfeits.’ The other parents got her out of there REAL quick….. I also had a mom throw an apple at me once.”

So, I guess umpires wear helmets, not only to protect from flying bats and balls, but also outdoor furniture, fruit and whatever else an angry mom could use as a weapon.

Keep this in mind when packing your ballpark bags this weekend. “Do I really need this bug spray? Well, if nothing else, I could throw it at someone in a fit of rage.” Okay, bad idea. Forget that.

Got a funny umpire story to share? We’d love to read it, so leave it in the comments.

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3 thoughts on ““Outta Here!” 16 MORE Comments that Got Coaches Ejected by Umpires

  • May 1, 2017 at 3:40 pm
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    Was coaching a 13u baseball team when I sent a boy home from 3rd on a wild pitch. It would of been a close play if the pitcher had put the tag down, but instead he just stepped on the plate. Umpire called the runner safe, and the other coach went ballistic. He yelled at the pitch “show the monkey the ball!” Yes, the home plate umpire was black, and of course, that instantly got him tossed. But the funny thing is the coach was black too.

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  • April 29, 2017 at 8:20 pm
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    Best one ever. Umpire has a coach barking at him on the bucket for about 3 innings about balls and strikes. He gets up walks over toward coach, coach stands up umpire sits down on bucket and tells him he is gonna call the rest of the game from here cause evidently you can see better from this spot. Coach didn’t say another word rest of the game.

    Reply
  • April 27, 2017 at 7:49 pm
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    I was working a game in a small town in Minnesota. There was an elderly lady in the front row who questioned my integrity and Sanity every time a call went against her beloved home team, and she was not quiet or shy about it at all.

    Sometime in the middle innings, as the pitcher warmed up one got past the catcher. The ball rolled to a stop directly in front of her. As I picked up the ball, she made a comment that decorum prohibits me detailing. I looked up at her and said ” Mom, if you don’t knock it off I will never bring you to another ball game”. The crowd erupted with laughter and cheering.

    When the dust settled, a lone voice cried out” you son of a bitch. You fight dirty”.

    I had to laugh. She was right.

    Reply

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